So A Midget Once Served Me A Drink…

Posted: March 2, 2013 in Anecdotes
Tags: , , , , , ,

I’m going to just straight up confess right now that the title refers to nothing I say in this post other than the fact that I actually was once served by a midget when I attended the premier of the Jackass 3D movie in London a few years back. Many of you are scoffing into your poorly made Cosmopolitans right now, I realise. But I assure you this happened. Will I regale the story in full? Only time will tell…so go ask Him…

The title of this blog is yet one more vacuous attempt to garner some attention around here by exploiting the Title bar and conjuring up more enticing names. Will it work? Again, that Time bastard knows best. He’s not doing anything right now. Go bother him some…right after reading my post…

Father Time: Barely giving a crap since, like, forever...

Seriously, Father Time does not give a crap…

But what I wanted to talk about was birthdays and the people we share them with. While a solitudinous annual affair many of us are perhaps curious about the kinds of people that share this day with us. And until recently I’ve never really bothered with the whole idea of sharing my birthday with someone because, well, I already do. For I am a twin. And just to stop you in your tracks: 1) No we don’t have a secret, made up language that only we know. 2) No, we don’t feel each other’s pain and quite frankly such a question has only sadistic meanings behind it. And: 3) No, we cannot read each other’s minds for such an act would be most uncomfortable for each of us as we are different genders.

So now that we have that out the way let me go back to my original point: it has never been a major thing for me to look up possible celebrities who may share the same day of birth as me because I already share this day with someone. She may not be Liza Minnelli or one of those fabulous chaps but then again she’s not Hitler either, so you take what you get.

But one day I did decide to go snooping around them Internets and see if there was any recognisable personalities whom I shared a birthday with. It was out of mild curiosity, really, and not because I’d masturbated myself out of one working lung and needed a rest for a moment. I’m not quite sure what I expected to get out of looking for a possible celebrity who I shared my birthday with but the technology and the inclination was there and as they say in New Zealand:…actually, I don’t know what they say about this sort of thing but I bet it’s charming and amusing in equal parts.

So who is this mystery guest with whom me and my sister share our birth-iversary with? Why, it’s none other than comedian and actor Omid Djalili.

That's the pose of a man who wants to get to know me...

That’s the pose of a man who wants to get to know me…

While I may have been intoxicated at the time of finding this out I was, somewhat, comforted by this discovery. Is comforted the word I’m after here? Who knows?! The (heavily blunted) point here is that I somehow feel bound to have more in common with this man than I did when I saw him in The Mummy all those drug-free years ago. Having a celebrity share your birthday is like the Zodiac equivalent of having them re-tweet your posts or say sorry to you when they brush by you in the street that you probably sleep on.

It’s not amazing news and maybe it’s not the most intriguing of topics for a Saturday night blog post. But it beats having to hook up my new washing machine whilst under the influence of alcohol. Much better.

Tell me who you share your birthday with


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