Do You Ever Feel Too Old For The Internet..?

Posted: January 12, 2013 in Anecdotes
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Well, do you you curmudgeonly old git?!

That was mean. Sorry. But seriously I’ve been a regular user of the Internet since about 1998. I have my own dealer and everything. I almost know what it feels like to be a mother. Only instead of a child it’s data transfer. I’ve watched the information superhighway grow from this fresh faced entity with its basic HTML coding in its pre-Web 2.0 days, into this ubiquitous adult that has surpassed its parental unit in everything except sexual prowess.

In the old days we didn’t know what it would turn into or in what ways it would change our lives. Now here I sit nearly fifteen years later and there’s a small part of me that feels like the Internet is not for my kind anymore. Which I know is untrue because the Internet has so much to offer for us more grown up types (I’m just going to say boobs before you reach that conclusion yourself. May I continue uninterrupted??) and it’s no secret that it’s become so vast and culturally significant that entire industries are founded upon it.

So there are locations for younger people and areas for more adult people. Sometimes there is a crossover, of course. Facebook is possibly the most infamous example of generations co-mingling together. And it’s through Facebook that I often encounter things that make me feel that there are certain boundaries on the Internet that I shouldn’t cross. Because hanging around in areas that are far removed from your age group is grounds for arrest in the real world. But on the Internet it takes on a whole new level of creepy.

This kid of creepy...

This kind of creepy…

Sometimes I just forget that a large population of the Internet are at that age where status updates about parents being strict and controlling, or image macros about school life and growing up are rampant and in plentiful supply. I can’t relate to this shit! The Internet is not something that is going away any time soon and it’s something I use every single day. It’s helping me to try and forge my career. And recently it’s also what I’ve been using for my new job.

But you can’t always tailor-make your browsing habits by forcefully keeping to websites for people in your age group. I’ll be turning thirty towards the latter part of this year so maybe I’m just at an awkward stage of adulthood where I don’t feel quite mature enough to stop laughing at web comic strips but also aware of the fact that each set of humorous images I browse through is slowly becoming less and less funny as I realise that younger and younger kids are posting them. And kids are going to post images and quotes that they can relate to.

So what’s the solution? Start indiscriminately deleting people off my friends list because I can’t quite relate to status updates about having a ‘sucky day at skool FML’..? Should I stop browsing meme images because the onslaught of Pokemon jokes is so over my head they’re being sponsored by Red Bull? Is this all just a little bit of cynicism on my part because I feel that I’m getting too old to be browsing the Internet leisurely? Maybe I just yearn for a simpler time before social networking, before Google, before Youtube, bloody hell before people even understood the almighty power that the Internet could potentially hold if we could just stop that miniature klaxon sound coming from our dial-up modems.

"Dial in you fucker! I need to ask Jeeves about my growing genitals..."

“Dial in you fucker! I need to ask Jeeves about my growing genitals…”

I’m glad that I got to experience the Internet back then when it was all new and shiny. But if I’m honest I’m quite glad to be around on the net at this age. Because now I can look at the way I would have been if I’d have had social networking some ten, fifteen years ago. Oh Christ I would have been unbearable! The incessant status updates about girls and feelings and not getting good toys for Christmas. Fuck! Mum if you’re reading this be very grateful we never had any of them new fangled Facebooks and Twittees back then.

Reminisce with me


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