Foiled Once More (Non-Zombies)

Posted: November 17, 2012 in Anecdotes, Gaming
Tags: , , , , ,

Sidenote: My theory about putting the word ‘zombie’ into my last post’s title to hopefully gain more views somehow had the opposite affect. So I’m going for a different approach this time…


I’m not usually one to go gallivanting into conspiracy theory territory at the drop of a 9-11-was-an-inside-job hat, but there is definitely a suspicious correlation between the amount of things I need to get done and the distractions that prevent me from doing such tasks.

Case in point:

For those of you who have been paying attention (hi Google cookies…) I have been trying to mould and shape the book I wrote a few months back. As is customary with many of life’s seemingly glamorous and easy endeavours it has been a clusterfist of a ball ache.

Nope. Aint happening…

Seven chapters into a second draft and I’m nowhere near anything resembling a finish line but along the way I have encountered an array of walls that are apparently coated in achievement-proof jam. Below is a list of things – in no particular order – that have given procrastination a need to raise its bar:

1) Minecraft

Here is that same list but this time in descending order starting with the most time-engulfing:

1) Minecraft

By now exactly seven billion of you have played or have been playing this game since its alpha release back in 2009. For those of you scratching your peninsulas (that’s a body part, right?) rest assured that you have played this game. However, the stacks of money you have saved by neither eating nor using electricity in any other room in your sex maisonette you have unwittingly saved enough for the memory erasing surgery to undo the months of time spent building giant dongs out of fence posts.

And well done to you, I say.

But some of us aren’t so lucky. It began innocently enough with mild curiosity:

“Haven’t played Minecraft for a while…let’s see if it still runs on my system…”

This quickly developed into joyful surprise:

“Wow, for some reason it runs better through Linux than it does via my copy of Windows…Today will be a good day after all I don’t care what my cardiologist says!”

Then things went a little sour as I became somewhat bewildered and daunted by all the changes that had been implemented in the twelve months I’d been absent:

“Bats? When the fuck did they put bats in the game? Wait…what?! I have to eat to stay alive now…but I have enough problems doing that in real life as it is…”

The next few days are a blur interspersed with dreams about 1×1 blocks of raw material. (I wish I was joking…) As game addictions go I don’t think there are many that can top it. You know it’s bad when you try to coax your girlfriend into playing it. It’s like it knows it wants to be played by more and more people and it will stop at nothing to achieve that.

Speaking of achievements I think now would be time to admit that there is such a thing as too much Minecraft. I mean you can only minecraft so much in minecraft. And when you’re minecrafting it up a treat for a few hours sometimes minecraft the minecraft and minecrafty-minecraft of the craft in my mine…craft…and…

Please…please excuse me for a while. I need to…thing…

The Sims!

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Comments
  1. I seriously have never played Minecraft and, even though the screen grab above looks like a still from Dire Straits groundbreaking MTV video for ‘Money for nothing’, I’m now too scared to try it

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