Social Commentry Jokes

Posted: March 17, 2011 in Misc.
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

“Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup!”
“Yes sir, our current economic turmoil caused by cut backs has forced the food industry to resort to more unorthodox ingredients. I recommend sir not drink that white wine…”

“Doctor doctor!  I feel like a pair of curtains!”
“Oh dear, this is a classic case of Generalised Anxiety Disorder coupled with acute depression. Are you working more than forty hours a week?…Oh my that is a lot of work for such a meagre pay. I’m prescribing you some Xanax post haste.”

How do you know if an elephant’s been in your fridge?
There are spent cigarette ends in your butter because the state has enforced a nationwide ban on public smoking and the elephant can find nowhere else to enjoy itself….

Why did the young boy throw his clock out the window?
His increased dosage of Ritilin is so high that he has become disjointed from reality and has no moral compass. His family are persuing a law suit against the medical practioner who authorised the increase for their otherwise healthy son.

How many rhinos can you fit into a phonebox?
Stay tuned to find out and we’ll see what Simon Cowell thought of their performance. We’ll be back after these mediocre adverts.

Why did the pigeon cross the road?
It was on its way to become food for McDonald’s

A blonde goes into a Curry’s store and asks to buy a TV. The clerk approaches and expresses his concern that people are too dependent on their television sets and that she should consider other forms of entertainment that don’t have such an adverse effect on the human mind.

The same blonde walks into a library. Years later she becomes a university professor

Why was six afraid of seven?
Because the Daily Mail told it to be.

What’s black and white and red all over?
A zebra that’s fuming with rage over David Cameron’s latest speech on immigration

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because 9/11 was an inside job

Thank you I’ll be here all week!

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Comments
  1. Stephen says:

    Why did Nick Clegg cross the road?
    Because he said he wouldn’t

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