Libraries Ist Krieg!

Posted: February 9, 2011 in Anecdotes, Literature/Writing
Tags: , , , , , ,

I love books! I fucking love the ever-loving shite out of them! I would do things to books that would cause most decent societies to frown upon me and never return my calls again. Alas, I do have restraint so I stick to the age old tradition of reading them. For now.

I am appalled at people who don’t read books. Even people who don’t at least read a newspaper or two, or even a magazine, surprise me. (gossip mags don’t count and are a bane on modern civilisation. Only terrorists read them…you’re not a terrorist are you??) What’s not to love about reading? And what better item to read than a motherfucking book? There are trillions of the bastards out there, each one suitable for every taste and niche. Even if it’s a book about a lonely little puddle of sick called Hitler that has a magic tax exemption form which feeds on babies and car exhausts there will still be someone out there who will read it and think “Christ I thoroughly enjoyed reading that from my hovel on the moon.”

Books are awesome! If a book was sex it would be that orgy scene in Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shutin slow-motion!

Another thing that I love is libraries: book houses essentially. And libraries aren’t just places where hobos can go for a little cry and a come down. Oh no good sir. They are much more than that. They are places that you and I can attend, join (for free!), and then proceed to gorge ourselves on knowledge-a-plenty. They are buildings of great warmth and a welcome feeling, as well as a place to remain dry and escape the everyday chaos outside. In many respects libraries are the complete antithesis of bus shelters.

I think what got me onto this post was when I came across this site listing a variety of stunning libraries seen around the world. I mean, when you come across something like this:


More spines than a chiropractor’s wet dream…

How can it fail to bring even a slight degree of inspiration to the mind? I know I love listening to death metal, and I know I love violent computer games, and yes I’m even partial to the odd naked breast or three. But in a place such as a library I think “Fuck that noise! I’m staying here and running my eyes over page after page of printed word!” Then I’ll promptly high-five the nearest homeless person to me.

As magical as libraries are I can’t help but feel a slight pang of despondency when I compare our local establishment to some of the ones in the above link (the one pictured is the Real Gabinete Português de Leitura in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil). Ours pales in comparison the ones I’ve shown you. It’s modest in size and from my experience is perhaps lacking in the volume department – shelves on a library should not have massive empty gaps unless there was a serious plague of keen interest within the space of a quiet weekend.

Having said that our library (Shrewsbury, for stalker reference) does have this outside: 8ft Charles Darwin. Suck it, bitches!

Leave a comment

  1. Great posting!!!

    It’s the same with me – I just cannot BELIEVE it when people tell me that they “just don’t read”. It is an absolute no-go.

    Thanks for the pics of the libraries, btw – I was like: “Wooooooooooaaaaaaah …”, when I saw the first picture. 😉
    I LOVE our libraries at university, even though they’re not that nice. But they’ve got a low ceiling, a thick carpet which feeds on every step and LOADS of nicely filled shelfes …

    Therefore: 100% Agree! 🙂


  2. Andrew says:

    Thanks for the comment. Sad to admit I was a late bloomer when it came to literature. I only really started reading on a regular basis when I was in my my early to mid-20’s (I’m now 27) but I have easily made up for lost time.

    Our university library was pretty good. It’s a shame I don’t have access to it anymore since graduating as I have ideas for articles/books that academic material will really help me with.

  3. […] who knows me is aware of the kind of sexual glee I get from all things literature and book-esque. But I have a wee confession to make: though I am a very passionate reader I have since come to […]

  4. […] who knows me is aware of the kind of sexual glee I get from all things literature and book-esque. But I have a wee confession to make: though I am a very passionate reader I have since come to […]

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