Toilet Books

Posted: November 11, 2010 in Misc.
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Is there a certain etiquette that needs to be upheld when it comes to ‘toilet books’?

A toilet book – for those not in the toilet-know – is an easy to read piece of literature that gets stacked up in people’s bathrooms as reading material for those, shall we say, extended stays…

For example: in our bathroom we have F***MyLife (the book version of this site), Rich Fulcher’s (of The Mighty Boosh fame) Tiny Acts of Rebellion, a Mock The Week book, as well as a series of books on pointless and useless trivia.

All innocent, quick and easy reads for that early morning bowel jog.

This evening, however, I discovered a couple of full-length novels amongst the stack. Not to imply that this is somehow taking the whole affair that step too far, but this either says something about the kind of reading material that goes hand-in-hand with toilet breaks or it says something about how long people are spending in there. (Or we’re out of toilet paper or something…)

Metaphor.

I’m all for some quiet time; those precious moments when the bathroom door shuts and the blare of the TV, washing machine, gin-infused Aunty is temporarily cut off while you get down to some pants-less business. Maybe I just can’t imagine having an entire novel stashed next to toilet purely for that purpose. If it’s good I’ll take it in there while I carry on reading. If I enjoy it whilst I’m there I’ll take it out with me.

It should also be noted that I found a small cutting knife on the sink at the same time. Now I have this unnerving image of someone in the household cutting thin slices of cheese and laying them on top of crackers as they sift through a thrilling tome of discourse whilst butt-spread on the Porcelain Lord. (If I find an empty Jacob’s wrapper in the bin you’ll know I’m right)

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